Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV)
I have nothing I want to hide. I welcome you to search my life. That does not mean that I think that I am perfect. I am far from that. I am a sinner that is for sure. I have thought, said and done what is not pleasing to you. I have sinned both in my actions and in my inaction. Why do you want me to examine your life? Why do you feel so confident in your request? My confidence is not in myself. My confidence is in you. I know that you love me. I know that you are on my side. I know that you have your best in mind for me. It is very good that you are confident in me. I want what you want. I want to fully live the life that you have called me to live. I don’t want to fall short of your hopes, and dreams and plans for me. I don’t want anything to hinder all that you want to do in and through my life. You are right in your thinking.
I know that I have been making a mistake. What kind of mistake have you been making? I have been living an unexamined life. I have not asked you to examine my life nearly enough. I have been showing you your sins. Yes, I know. But, I have not asked you to show me my sin. I have not welcomed your examination of my life. I have not sat to listen to what you might want to say to me about what I have thought, said and done. I have not made confession of my sins a regular part of the end of each of my days. I’m suspecting that you want me to see more of my sin. Why is that? As I see what you want me to see, I will know how you want to mold and shape my life. I will allow you to do what you want to do in and through me. Yes, You will.
So what is your plan? I will sit before you at the end of each day. I will ask you to examine my life. I will ask you to show me what you want me to see. I will listen to all that you want me to hear. I will allow you to work in my life. I will allow you to make me into the person that you have called me to be. That will be very good.
Lord, I have no desire to hide anything from you. I want my life to be like an open book before you. Examine my life closely. Remove anything and everything from my life that is not pleasing to you. I welcome your work in my life. Amen
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